Infusion rant

Hi there,

So, I have come to realize that I am fighting a loosing battle. No I'm not talking about with my disease (that's a whole other story). I'm talking about my infusions themselves. Okay, okay, so not the entire infusion is a lost battle but let me take you on a little trip that happens to be my infusions. 

First things first, this is an IV, well part of it anyway. 

This is what gets to be my little buddy, my pal, my BFEEW (for those who are not familiar, that means "best friend every eight weeks"). There are two bags with tubes that are run through the box shaped machine and are combined into one tube that is attached to my vein. That box-shaped machine beeps extremely obnoxiously in my ear every 15 minutes to remind my nurse to check my vitals. One of the bags is my lovely life-in-a-bag, my Remicade. And the other is the saline. 

And this, my friends, is where my loosing battle is. One fourth Benadryl, that makes me sleepy, one fourth the beeping, box-shaped machine that wakes me up every fifteen minutes just as I am starting to really relax, and one half the IV itself. Now, anyone who has ever been on an IV drip knows that one main purpose is to keep you hydrated. (It also allows easy access to administer medicine straight into your vein). If you have any sense of how things work, then you know what goes in must come out. Sorry, I know that's weird and gross and whatever, but it is very true. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I cannot make it through an entire infusion without having to have them disconnect me so I can use the restroom. I felt so silly. I didn't ever see anyone else getting up to use the restroom. Except this one guy who has a mobile IV because of how often he needs to use the restroom . But, everyone else makes it through. I was so determined this last time, I went to the restroom before going in to have my infusion and everything. And then a half hour or so to go, I woke up from the beeping and had to go. 

I ended up voicing to my nurse my frustration about not being able to make it through. She, being the wonderful person she is, made me feel so much better. Turns out, she has infusions done as well and has less than half the amount that I do as well as a much shorter amount of infusion time and she can't even make it through. It then dawned on me that everyone I see in the infusion lab is not there nearly as long as me! I often see them come in, get infused, and see them leave in my hours of treatment. So, it is beyond normal for me to have to pee after that long of a time. I'm sure they all just go after they are finished. So, I say, let my bladder be empty and comfortable, regardless of how many trips to the restroom I take! No one is judging me for peeing!

I know, it's a silly thing to be frustrated about. But, when it comes to infusions, I have learned that there are no silly topics to let the mind wonder and explore. And plus, I for one, would much rather focus on the loosing battle with my bladder, than focus on the needle stuck in me or why I need it in the first place. 

Nikki De 

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