How to: My Wedding Day
Hi there,
Okay so I have procrastinated quite a bit on writing another entry but am now back to writing posts. So very much has happened in the last few months. Specifically, one of the biggest days of my life. My wedding day. We got married in July of 2016 I thought it might be fun to start a little bit of a "How to" series documenting how I accomplish different things in my life with a chronic illness including my tips and tricks, and quite possibly what I would do differently.
So, as I mentioned before, I recently have gotten married! Our wedding ceremony took place in a gorgeous chapel at our home church. It came complete with the double door entry, the high vaulted ceilings, and of course beautiful stained glass windows. We hung green vines and some floral garland on rods that rose to the ceiling. White and blue rose petals filled the isle. Purple orchids and ribbon were at the end of each row of chairs. I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to see my vision come to life. We held our reception in the church gym and it turned out marvelous with the decor there too. The entire wedding went absolutely perfect and stress free. We knew everyone involved in the wedding personally which made it just so much more fun.
A wedding is a very tedious thing to put together. There is so much to think about and plan. So many people to coordinate. So much energy. For someone who feels like doing normal daily tasks is a burden, adding more to the load can truly sound ludicrous. But I am a planner. I love making sure all the details are in order way early in the process so I can truly enjoy every step of the way. And man oh man was I glad I did. We gave ourselves over a year to figure it all out. People thought I was insane. But I enjoyed being engaged. And I didn't want to just barely start to feel engaged on my wedding day. I wanted to be engaged long enough that I felt comfortable with it. I wanted to be able to not rush anything and have time to find cheap.... *ahem* affordable ways of making my vision come to life.
So, how did I do that and not completely run myself ragged? Being that I had such a long engagement meant that I could give myself one or two tasks a week and be fine, keeping in mind the weeks I would be recovering from treatment. If I was having a great day, then I would get extra stuff done. I made a ton of stuff for the wedding myself. The DIY approach. The bouquets and boutonnieres, the guest book, programs, activities, my veil (which was a completely crazy idea, but am so glad I did). It was a ton of fun and often times a ton of work. One of my early planning weeks was tasked with writing down absolutely everything I needed to get done. Not starting on any of it. Just writing it down. At the time, I felt so very overwhelmed by my list, but it made it fun to look at it and pick something I had the energy to work on that week. And it put my mind at ease when I was able to not only check something off of the list but to look at what I had accomplished. I am a big supporter of check-off lists. I actually was so incredibly glad that I started early on with wedding stuff because the month before my wedding I literally was completely ready for it. I was able to add some extra little touches here and there, but I had everything prepped and done that I really felt was necessary. I was so happy to be able to relax (gasp!) and enjoy the month leading up to the wedding.
Lets talk about the dress. Finding the dress can seriously be the most wonderfully stressful process ever. It has to be perfect. Women spend weeks going from store to store trying on loads of different styles and brands to find their wedding dress. On tv you see women spending more on a wedding dress then I would for a car! Okay, so I may burst some peoples bubbles, but that wasn't me. None of it. Wanting to find my dress, yes, but I found mine my first day looking and for an amazing price. Yup, I felt like I cheated the system. But lets talk money for a sec. When you buy a wedding dress, you often times have to consider the alteration cost that is most defiantly not included in your price of the dress. Most dresses are made for five-foot-seven models, not for average women. I am five feet tall. Going in I knew that I would be spending not only time, money, and energy trying on dresses, but I would also be spending time, money, and energy getting the dress altered to fit me. The alteration process can be an extremely exhausting process. You go in and stand for some time in this dress that will be perfect when the seamstress can get it to fit you better, and you walk around a bit to see if it is moving well, and you take it off and then you wait to do it again another day. Each time you get excited to retrieve your dress, and if you are lucky you do. But sometimes theres just one more thing that she sees when you put it on. As tiring as it was, it was kind of fun to put on my dress so many times and see it come together little by little. And in the end, the energy was well spent on this.
This brings me to the rehearsal day. We were fortunate enough to actually set up for the wedding the afternoon before. I had everything well organized and packed up ready to be put in my car over the weekend so when Monday came I just had to load it up and head over to the church. I had so many people who were willing to come and help us set everything up, that I really was able to step back and mainly supervise. My bridesmaids were helping me to remember to stay hydrated and were amazing at making it all come together. It was nice to be able to have as much help as we did. Everything went together perfectly and was done before rehearsal began. Having a big amount of support that understands your situation really does wonders. I was able to have no stress and enjoy my time with everyone there. My husband's mother put together a beautiful rehearsal dinner for everyone that evening.
Our wedding day was beautiful. No stress, just lots of laughter and smiles. Staying hydrated and fed was an absolute must. Staying stress free and being reminded to just enjoy the day made all the difference with my energy levels. When you have that many people around you with positive energy, it tends to be a bit contagious, in a good way. All that months of planning paid off because our day went so smooth. Nothing went wrong. And if it did, I never knew about it. All throughout the day my bridesmaids made sure I had everything I needed and wanted. Our photographers were good friends of ours and also knew about my illness. They really worked with us and our wants and needs, including doing first looks and the majority of the pictures before the ceremony while energy was high. All in all I believe the preparation I put into the day as well as the people we had involved in our wedding really made a huge difference.
-Nikki De
Okay so I have procrastinated quite a bit on writing another entry but am now back to writing posts. So very much has happened in the last few months. Specifically, one of the biggest days of my life. My wedding day. We got married in July of 2016 I thought it might be fun to start a little bit of a "How to" series documenting how I accomplish different things in my life with a chronic illness including my tips and tricks, and quite possibly what I would do differently.
So, as I mentioned before, I recently have gotten married! Our wedding ceremony took place in a gorgeous chapel at our home church. It came complete with the double door entry, the high vaulted ceilings, and of course beautiful stained glass windows. We hung green vines and some floral garland on rods that rose to the ceiling. White and blue rose petals filled the isle. Purple orchids and ribbon were at the end of each row of chairs. I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to see my vision come to life. We held our reception in the church gym and it turned out marvelous with the decor there too. The entire wedding went absolutely perfect and stress free. We knew everyone involved in the wedding personally which made it just so much more fun.
A wedding is a very tedious thing to put together. There is so much to think about and plan. So many people to coordinate. So much energy. For someone who feels like doing normal daily tasks is a burden, adding more to the load can truly sound ludicrous. But I am a planner. I love making sure all the details are in order way early in the process so I can truly enjoy every step of the way. And man oh man was I glad I did. We gave ourselves over a year to figure it all out. People thought I was insane. But I enjoyed being engaged. And I didn't want to just barely start to feel engaged on my wedding day. I wanted to be engaged long enough that I felt comfortable with it. I wanted to be able to not rush anything and have time to find cheap.... *ahem* affordable ways of making my vision come to life.
So, how did I do that and not completely run myself ragged? Being that I had such a long engagement meant that I could give myself one or two tasks a week and be fine, keeping in mind the weeks I would be recovering from treatment. If I was having a great day, then I would get extra stuff done. I made a ton of stuff for the wedding myself. The DIY approach. The bouquets and boutonnieres, the guest book, programs, activities, my veil (which was a completely crazy idea, but am so glad I did). It was a ton of fun and often times a ton of work. One of my early planning weeks was tasked with writing down absolutely everything I needed to get done. Not starting on any of it. Just writing it down. At the time, I felt so very overwhelmed by my list, but it made it fun to look at it and pick something I had the energy to work on that week. And it put my mind at ease when I was able to not only check something off of the list but to look at what I had accomplished. I am a big supporter of check-off lists. I actually was so incredibly glad that I started early on with wedding stuff because the month before my wedding I literally was completely ready for it. I was able to add some extra little touches here and there, but I had everything prepped and done that I really felt was necessary. I was so happy to be able to relax (gasp!) and enjoy the month leading up to the wedding.
Lets talk about the dress. Finding the dress can seriously be the most wonderfully stressful process ever. It has to be perfect. Women spend weeks going from store to store trying on loads of different styles and brands to find their wedding dress. On tv you see women spending more on a wedding dress then I would for a car! Okay, so I may burst some peoples bubbles, but that wasn't me. None of it. Wanting to find my dress, yes, but I found mine my first day looking and for an amazing price. Yup, I felt like I cheated the system. But lets talk money for a sec. When you buy a wedding dress, you often times have to consider the alteration cost that is most defiantly not included in your price of the dress. Most dresses are made for five-foot-seven models, not for average women. I am five feet tall. Going in I knew that I would be spending not only time, money, and energy trying on dresses, but I would also be spending time, money, and energy getting the dress altered to fit me. The alteration process can be an extremely exhausting process. You go in and stand for some time in this dress that will be perfect when the seamstress can get it to fit you better, and you walk around a bit to see if it is moving well, and you take it off and then you wait to do it again another day. Each time you get excited to retrieve your dress, and if you are lucky you do. But sometimes theres just one more thing that she sees when you put it on. As tiring as it was, it was kind of fun to put on my dress so many times and see it come together little by little. And in the end, the energy was well spent on this.
This brings me to the rehearsal day. We were fortunate enough to actually set up for the wedding the afternoon before. I had everything well organized and packed up ready to be put in my car over the weekend so when Monday came I just had to load it up and head over to the church. I had so many people who were willing to come and help us set everything up, that I really was able to step back and mainly supervise. My bridesmaids were helping me to remember to stay hydrated and were amazing at making it all come together. It was nice to be able to have as much help as we did. Everything went together perfectly and was done before rehearsal began. Having a big amount of support that understands your situation really does wonders. I was able to have no stress and enjoy my time with everyone there. My husband's mother put together a beautiful rehearsal dinner for everyone that evening.
Our wedding day was beautiful. No stress, just lots of laughter and smiles. Staying hydrated and fed was an absolute must. Staying stress free and being reminded to just enjoy the day made all the difference with my energy levels. When you have that many people around you with positive energy, it tends to be a bit contagious, in a good way. All that months of planning paid off because our day went so smooth. Nothing went wrong. And if it did, I never knew about it. All throughout the day my bridesmaids made sure I had everything I needed and wanted. Our photographers were good friends of ours and also knew about my illness. They really worked with us and our wants and needs, including doing first looks and the majority of the pictures before the ceremony while energy was high. All in all I believe the preparation I put into the day as well as the people we had involved in our wedding really made a huge difference.
-Nikki De
Interested in more reading material? Check out my book!
Wings by Nicole Harman is available now in both ebook and paperback format on both Amazon and Barnes&Noble.
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