Self confidence

Hi there!

Recently, I have been working on trying to boost my self confidence and overall happiness. Sometimes being sick gets to you. All the doctors appointments, and needles, and flare days. Its not fun. And frankly it is slightly discouraging. I can recall weeks where all I have been able to do is focus on the fact that I am sick and nothing more. Not on my friends. Not on the house. Not on fun stuff. It puts a damper on your spirit. And I get to a point where I just want to get by one more day. But you know what, sometimes you need to just give yourself a break and pamper yourself. It's the little things that help me to feel more normal, more put together, and that helps my confidence.

Something as simple as doing your nails or even getting them done can really help. Okay so this isn't for everyone, but I happen to really enjoy this. This is a simple task that doesn't take much energy. And, I don't know, maybe it's the girly part of me, but when I have my nails done, I feel more presentable. I feel more put together and even feel like I can forget about the conversation I just had with myself, talking my body out of its nausea. And heck, I feel fancier too! Like I didn't just spend the afternoon in the doctors office. I especially try to make sure my nails are done either before treatment or do them after treatment while I am resting. I find that I feel better about myself (especially during treatments) having my nails all pretty.

Another thing that helps is retail therapy. Okay I'm not talking going out on a shopping spree every time I feel awful. But its nice to have a new piece of clothing. For me, I love to go and find an amazing deal on a new piece of clothing to add to my wardrobe. A store is having a massive sale on their clearance rack, yes please! This confidence booster does take a bit of energy but its nice to spend your spoons on something that will put a smile on your face. But, I can't be the only one who feels like they can conquer the world in a new outfit. Sure my clothing choice often has the idea of "can I sleep in this?" but I got that pair of yoga pants and ultra soft shirt for under ten dollars thank you! It doubling as sleep wear just adds to its value in my closet.

Adventures to explore a new place can do wonders for me too. It doesn't have to be a long far away adventure, even though those are a ton of fun. It could be a local restaurant that just opened. Or a frozen yogurt place that has a new flavor to try. Or checking out a new hobby store or antique store. Anything that is potentially new is a nice change from doing the same old same old every day. For me being spontaneous is key. If I have the energy and the time, its super fun to just go on a random little adventure. (I just have to remember to be okay with ending an adventure early when my body is done.)

Something that does come to mind while I do this self confidence pampering is that I worry about people thinking I'm faking being sick. This comes with the territory of having an invisible illness. And to those people I say, well I say nothing. I don't have to defend being sick or talking care of my well being. If I just had treatment and you see me walking around a store a couple days later in a new shirt and nails done, that doesn't mean I can last an entire shift at work. Most likely I was needing a change of scenery for an hour. Because what you may not see is how I was in bed for almost two days straight sore and tired and not feeling great. I would rather see you happy about my well being, then judgmental about looking well. 

Regardless of the possible judgment, I am going to continue pampering myself on occasion. I think everyone needs to do so. Whether you are sick or not, it is good to keep your self confidence and happiness in check. And if something as simple as having your hair in place that day is going to make you feel like a presentable human of society then do it! 

Nikki De

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